Semester Stretch

Hey everyone!

I hope that when you read this you are in good spirits, and I pray that my words provide encouragement and challenge you toward a closer relationship with Christ.

I do apologize for not updating during the middle of November. There was a lot going on, and there still is! At that time I was working on numerous projects, research papers, and other matters which deserved their due time. As a result, I was unable to give the necessary reflection and time which these blog posts deserve. Please forgive me for this, I know some of you are dedicated readers and have invested much love and time into my life, and I do not want you to feel that sharing life with you is not one of my priorities.

Now, to cover the previous month is an arduous task in itself, so I can only hope that I will do it the necessary justice. A month ago one of my best friends got married to the love of his life, and I was the Best Man at the wedding. It was a great opportunity and an honor to be named as such. I am truly happy for the bride and groom, and I pray they have a wonderful, long life together. Being part of a wedding is honestly not my favorite thing in the world, but I do not believe it is necessarily the weddings which give me sour taste. I feel a sort of dragging, down feeling at many different things other than weddings, such as graduations and promotions. Whether or not it is reasonable for me to feel so or not, I do feel many times that I have failed way too much in my life, and that I have not really amounted to anything. At those times, there are many who have worked to build me up and remind me that first and foremost I am a success because my heart is set on Jesus, and that no person in God's family is a failure, and that even past that, there are multiple types of successes, not just the ones that involve making millions of dollars or owning a big house or car. Yet still I struggle deeply with this. Perhaps because I know that I have not amounted to what I expected of myself. I could go on for days about the ways I consider myself having failed. But I will not go into that. What matters is what is ahead, and I seek to move forward toward the goals that God has put in front of me, and the doors that have been opened for me.

Speaking of which, I wrote briefly on Facebook about this, but I will also say it here that I have been selected to be part of a missions team at Simpson which will be going to Eastern Europe! Our objective is quite different than I am used to on missions teams, a fact which has troubled me very deeply for the last year or so. In short, we will spend time with University students which are mostly Muslim, and our goal is to speak Christ into their lives! So exciting! For a long time I have felt God's tug on me to share the gospel, like, to actually share it. With WORDS. I have had deep convictions in my heart and it has troubled me greatly, to wonder to myself if I have at any point completely missed the point of gospel sharing. It's great to do good things for people. Feed the homeless, awesome. Build somebody's house or fix their roof, swell. But to say that because I was kind to someone means that I shared the gospel with them? No... I'm no different than the next humanitarian. I'm supposed to be different. It is supposed to be clear that I am doing it a) because Jesus commands it, and b) because I want to share with them the hope in Christ that I have. If somebody doesn't say it, how the heck are they supposed to know it? So anyways, I went into this interview and I was told what we were doing, and that it was specifically calling for people who want to share the gospel by word and by living the word out with people, gosh, I knew it was just right. I knew it had to be right. I could never say no to a chance like that. God should be the one to say no, and I believe if I am not supposed to go, He will make it clear somehow. But I do not believe that I have the right to say no. If the opportunity to share Christ is there, how could I not do it? God doesn't present us with these things just so that we can say no. He wants us to be obedient to Him, even if it means we end up not actually doing what we were called to do. Does that mean God failed? Absolutely NOT! Do you think the message of Christ failed just because one of the disciples was martyred, or because Paul got locked in prison? NO! All of these things were part of obedience to whatever situation God set for His people. Paul wrote "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ" and "it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him" (Phil 1:27,29). I do not believe that if I do not go on the missions trip that God has failed in my life, or that His plan in E.E. will fail. On the contrary, I know that God will do His purpose regardless! But how can I call myself a Christ follower if I am not willing to follow Him to death? (of course, I am not going to die if I don't go on the trip, I am merely suggesting the importance, the urgency, of following the commands of Jesus). So, many of you will receive a letter or email from me detailing a little of the trip and what to pray for, as well as some financial figures (those of you who know me will know that I cringe at this part). I do hope and pray that I can go, and if I do it will be only by God's grace that it will happen. I appreciate your prayer in this matter.

Outside of the wedding, the homework, and the missions topic, not much else has been going on. I am happy to say that I got to spend time with my family during the Thanksgiving break. I drove down from Redding to Manteca on Tuesday. The next day, I drove to Modesto and picked up Josh and Julia, my brother and sister, and we drove to Bakersfield, where we met my parents and my two youngest siblings. Why Bakersfield, you ask? Well, if you don't already know, my parents live in Arizona, approximately 7-8 hours from Bakersfield. We decided the best thing to do would be to meet. How unconventional!! A family of seven, including five adopted sons and daughters ranging from 13 to 27 years old, comprising of at least three distinctly different ethnicities, piling into an RV-Trailer for a traditional Thanksgiving meal of which at least half was prepared ahead of time by my parents, yes it was quite unconventional. But you know what? I care not for the location, I care not for the food. What matters is family. Being together. Oh the lengths that a family will go to be together! It is quite beautiful. We never really have to plan anything, save for the scheduling of arrivals and departures. We just simply meet, and life just flows. I am thankful for that. I'm thankful for no time constraints, for no rush, for no agenda; I am thankful for the chance to stop and just be family. A time I truly cherish. Seeing my family I feel is like seeing what God is all about. In the midst of many different personalities and ethnicities and good choices and bad choices, from the very best we offer to the very worst of our humanity, it was never about how different we are. It was only about being together. United as a family. Forgetting about the hurts and the struggles, and instead soaking in the joy of perfect moments of peace and grace. It truly was, and is, beautiful. And that we have the perfect father, our Lord, makes it even better. John wrote "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" (1 John 3:1). That is what I see. Not because we loved but because He loved us.

I have come to a place this month where I have become distressed at much of what I have heard from home. From visits and texts and calls, I have heard a lot of things that have troubled me. People are slandering each other, spreading lies and gossiping things which they neither know or understand. Many that consider themselves Christ followers are quick to point fingers at others for "big" sins while they themselves continue to commit "small" sins. There are those that condemn others but do not help bear their burden. People will talk to others about each other, but won't actually talk to each other. Factions, groups, cliques are being formed. There are some who are striving to serve and be involved but are doing it for completely selfish reasons. What has happened? I am not naive. I don't believe that this stuff never happened before. Still, I am appalled. James wrote "With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings . . . out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be" (James 3:9,10). John wrote "let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth," and "whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen" (1 John 3:18, 4:20). Paul instructs us to "be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love" (Eph. 4:2). Stop the slander! Stop the lies and gossip! Did you know that Jesus said that "the things that come out of a person's mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts-- Murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander" (Matthew 15:18,19). You cannot say you love someone when the words out of your mouth, especially those behind their back, are not loving. Love is not about a feeling you get or a sense that you are currently happy with that person and their actions and words. Love is about how you can move them ultimately toward God, by demonstrating the love that God showed to us. Love is not a formula or a checklist. It is Jesus. I pray that there will be unity, forgiveness, mercy and grace.

God is moving in my heart. He never stopped moving. I am grateful for this, and I pray that I can continue to grow with him in faith and love and virtue. I have some things coming up, the semester is about to be over, I have to pay for a new semester and new books and such. I will have new classes to attend to, and I must maintain my work ethic. I have the E.E. missions trip which will involve raising money and growing and training with my team. Most importantly, I have the never-ending pursuit of Christ. Please pray for all these things, but especially pray that I am 100% in Christ, as he is 100% in me. I thank you for your love and support, and I pray that God may bless you abundantly so that you may bless others with the love He has poured on you.

Grace and peace in Christ,

-J