What about the other Half?

Hello everyone, thank you for reading and for giving your time to my cause. I hope that when you read this you are encouraged, challenged, and grateful at who God is.

Today's verse... more like every day's verse... is Proverbs 16:9.  I currently am staring at the content of this psalm written on a sticky note stuck to the shelf above where my computer sits right now:

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." -Proverbs 16:9 (NIV)

Take a moment to consider this proverb.  I will not begin to consider whether this says anything concerning free will versus predestination, but I do consider what this proverb says about who is really in charge here.  The final authority on ALL things is only God.  Any dreams, fantasies, wills, wishes, or desires ultimately must go through God. Many of us talk about what we want to do or what we think we should do and then we invite God to come along with us and bless us in it, and further, we say we are doing it for His glory.  Here is a question in my mind that I would like to present:

Do you think God wants to bless something that didn't come from Him?

Now hold on. I believe that God gives us passions and dreams that are good and worth giving effort toward, but I also believe that what we decide to pursue ought to begin with our total submission to God.  Rather than attempting to dissect and decipher the hearts of any one or more individuals, I will leave you with my own situation...

I never once in my life wanted to be a teacher.  There are numerous reasons for this, some are rational and some irrational, but here is a sampling of those reasons:

1) Relatively low pay for the amount of work you really have
2) Lots of time has to be spent after-hours outside of "work" preparing and maintaining
3) Responsibility

Now let me explain that last one.  It is not accurate to say I hate having responsibility, because anyone who hates that should never choose to live on their own.  What I really mean by that is that I am absolutely scared to death at the idea of students' lives and futures being affected and shaped by every little thing I do.

The point of all this is, I had never wanted to be a teacher, and these reasons (and there are more) were the ones that would have kept me out of it.  But instead, I pursue a college degree and credentials so that I may spend years of my life in classrooms with students.  Now to put my point of submission to God across, I will say that I am doing it mainly for these reasons:

1) God commanded us to love Him and love our neighbor as ourselves, and our love for God is made practical in our love for people
2) God commanded us to support the cause of the fatherless
3) God commanded us to go and make disciples of all nations and teach them to obey Jesus
4) The Bible instructs us to give cheerfully, abundantly, and sacrificially out of what has been given to us

Now let us be clear, I am not without passion and am not without dreams. I have discovered in my past six plus years of volunteering with Youth that I God has given me a heart and passion for teenagers. And dreams? Ever since I was a kid I have always had a Messiah complex where I wanted to make a difference and I wanted to be a hero in someone's life.  The interesting thing is that my dream of heroism has been held my whole life, but my passion has been discovered and changed through my life experience.  When I first surrender myself to who God is and what His expectations are, and then out of that I put my dreams and passions in perspective, I come away with a goal, a dream and passion from God to pursue. For me at the moment, that is to teach high schoolers.  You know what I think is the best indication that you are in submission to Christ first before your dreams? When you are completely and comfortably willing to change as God changes you. When your whole world doesn't turn upside down at the notion that you may not end up doing what you are going to school for.  When you are willing to change your whole life drastically to accommodate the change that God is doing in your life. These I can confidently say I have done, and am doing.  It is only possible with Jesus that I can do this.  God took me from a place of wretchedness to a place where I have purpose.  That is only done by Him, and will only be done for His glory. Not for mine.

So now you see why I have that verse from Proverbs on a sticky note above where I do my schoolwork. I must always remember who really is in charge.  I challenge you to always be thinking of that, always remembering that, and always challenging yourself and where you are at with that.

So I am almost at the halfway point of the semester, and I had the wonderful privilege of going home to Manteca to see my Calvary family and to wish off Pastor Tim as he moves on to a different ministry.  This weekend was so fast, and almost seems like a dream sometimes, but it was so refreshing and so motivating.  I came out of this weekend remembering that God's kingdom is not contained by walls or buildings or towns or nations, but that it is all around us and is within us.  I had the chance to talk to some people about the things that have been going on in my life, and I had the wonderful privilege of being prayed for on numerous occasions.  What a great weekend!  Kendra got to be back for a while too, and her friend Marijke (pronounced Muh-rye-kuh) got to come experience a little bit of where Kendra and I came from.  It was so good to see everyone, and I think of all the moments, one of the most memorable was the mobbing at the hands of the Junior Highers as I snuck in to youth on Thursday night.  That was so awesome and so humbling.  Who am I, that I should matter to these kids and adults? It was great to be a part of.

Now as the weekend has ended, and today I went back to class as normal, I look ahead with some anxiousness, wonder, question, and excitement.  I know that within two months of today I will be at home for a month long break, and that will also mean halfway through the school year, and one quarter of the way to my immediate goal of a College degree! How exciting.  Now if I could just get over this cold I picked up...

October 25th is coming up, and it is a really important date for me.  I am able to register for classes on that day, but I must first have all financial obligations for the semester met.  This will be a challenge, I am in some real need. I am confident that God will provide as He always has.  Please pray that I remain confident in His provision and that I will glorify His name no matter the circumstance and no matter the result. God is good!  "In all things God works for the good of those who love him..." - Romans 8:28

Ha, as I look back, I realize I gave a sermon and then gave very little detail about the past two weeks.  I promise that I will have more to talk about next time. God is at work, as He always has been, and there are some things brewing around here, I can feel it.

I pray for all of you out there, and I thank God for you, as you all have affected my life so much and have been so instrumental in God's plan in my life.  Thank you all for that, and thank you for taking the time to read this. May God bless you and give you peace.

-J