Not a Sprint

Hello to you all, thank you for tuning in this time.  I pray that at the time you read this you are in good spirits, and my hope is that, when you are done reading this, you will come away more cheerful and that you may praise God for who He is and what He has done.

I have now been in classes for two solid weeks, and tomorrow is the start of the third.  My classes are relatively easy, considering the grief I have recieved over the years concerning the "not-real-college" education I recieved during my time at MJC.  Quite honestly, the hardest class would appear to be the class I had assumed would be the easiest: History 1500- Intro to History. 

What, what?

Yes, you read that correctly.  INTRO TO HISTORY!  I have two upper division History classes (one 3000 level, one 4000 level, for those of you keeping score) and those pale in comparison to this intro class.  Much of it has to do with the level of work that will be expected of me in this class.  It will require a small number of papers that grow in size as the semester goes on, and it will also require me to spend a number of hours outside the classroom in a museum archive room handling documents and artifacts.  There is a requirement for me to attend an event thats being held at the school in October.  I have completed one of the essays so far, and what a headache!  The rest of the classes are a cakewalk compared to this one.  But I digress.  I am excited for my Civil War and Reconstruction class; I believe it will be my favorite class this semester, and maybe for my whole time at Simpson.  One of my favorite times in American History, and I get a whole class on it!  I guess that's not exciting to some of you. 

This semester I am getting myself back to some older, better habits, as far as studying and homework goes.  I had to dig deep, way back to before high school, to remember and put into practice the things I used to do for school.  Mind you, that was over 10 years ago!  Whatever the case may be, it is working for me to this point.  I have done my homework, right away most of the time, long before any of it is due.  How did this practice allude me for so long?!  I am a lot less stressed now that I remember being in High school and my early college years. I hope to continue these better habits as the semester and year goes on.

The first two and a half weeks of college have been up and down.  The first weekend was a trying experience.  I am not a guy that likes to be forced into group activity, and I care even less for things that don't appear to have any real significance or meaning in life, but I participated in numerous group activities.  One in particular was called the FYE games.  I was not happy to be part of this!  When we did it, I ended up going and getting in the pool and having to swim for part of the competition (and many of you know how I despise being in water).  Some would say that I don't give things a chance, and I understand that sentiment.  But I am also 24 years old, not 17 or 18, and I have lived life outside my parents' house for more than four years, so I don't consider that I need a weekend of thrill and games to make friends or be able to handle going to school.  I actually spent much of my time when I wasn't cheering or participating (yes, I was a good sport though I didn't want to participate) observing those around me, and I had a few interesting things come to mind.  The first being, we are supposedly all Christians at this school, and yet I wondered how many of them cheer for Jesus the way they would scream and holler for points in a game (I actually had to consider this fact of my own life too, quite humbling).  The second was how these games had no bearing in life whatsoever, yet many behave as if it was be-all, end-all.  Added to that was how many acted like winning was everything; there were also those that acted like they didn't care about whether they won or lost (though conversations that kept pointing back to how their team won/lost would indicate they really did think it meant something), and those who didn't seem to care at all, but that it was just something to do.  I ended up being very frustrated all weekend, and I simply was just wanting my classes to start, since the reason I was going to school was for an education, and not to go play around (what a thought!).  Ever since then, I have mostly put my concentration on school, making sure I have things lined up, and making sure I have everything I need. 

I often find myself feeling quite lonely, a man with no identity and no friends in a place far from home (well, not really that far).  Luckily, Kendra is up here, and so are a number of people who have been pretty kind to me so far.  I am in an interesting place, where I have gone from a home where I had a role and an identity to a place where I have no identity and seemingly no role.  My eyes are open and I am constantly trying to be mindful of where God is pointing.  There have already been a few individuals that He has stuck out in my eyes and mind, whom I will probably begin my discipleship project with.  God is teaching me (slowly) to be willing to lead, but also to be willing to follow.  For so long I have done a lot of leading, which is good, however all of us need to be followers sometimes, and ultimately of Jesus always.  Please pray that I listen to God and that I will lead when I must lead and follow when I must follow.  And also pray that I will be strong and courageous and go to battle in the name of Christ, walking with others and being walked with by others.  A number of guys and myself had a prayer/testimony time with each other a few days ago which was very cool, and it gave me great encouragement. Even now, God is using my story of redemption to touch people that I barely know.  I hope this may continue!

Being that it was the middle of the month, I had to make another school payment by today.  I had some help, it is amazing how brothers and sisters in Christ stepped up even before I left and made a difference.  I also was helped by my parents. God has blown me away in so many ways this past month.  I credit God first, and then everyone else for their faithfulness not to me and what I do, but to God and what He will do with and within me.  It hasn't always been easy, though I would suppose that it should be by now with how much God has done in my life.  Sometimes it is hard because many people here have a lot more than I do, as far as financially and possessions go.  I will turn down going out to eat because I pay the school for a small meal plan, and I can't afford to go spend money on meals elsewhere.  Many have an influx of money that just shows up every so often because a parent or relative gives it to them.  Many of these people have never had to ask for help in their whole life, because things were always just there for them to take.  These are things I am not accustomed to and do not understand what they are like, and so at times I get frustrated.  But I must be careful, I do not want to covet or envy.  I would suppose that one of the hardest things in life is the fact that people just can't fully understand each other.  Anyway, I am going to begin applying for jobs up here in Redding so that I may bring some sort of income in.  I know that God will provide exactly what I need and exactly at the right time, this last month has proven that even as He has proven Himself for my whole life.  God's kind of funny, and He loves to show off.  It is always those moments of hopelessness where God shows up in a big way, as if to do it on purpose so that we would KNOW that HE IS GOD!  Whatever the course of the next few months may be, please pray that God will continue to open doors for me, and that He will provide what is best and right for me.  And if I am to get a job, pray that I will maintain a primary focus on school, so that my education and the reason I am up here may not be hindered.  And also pray that my eyes will be open to the blessings that He pours out to us daily.

I love getting in the Word!  I am in Ezekiel right now.  I am proud to say that after Ezekiel, I will only have to read Joel, Amos, and Song of Songs and I will have read the entire Old testament, and therefore the whole Bible!  Not to be proud necessarily of myself accomplishing anything, but I find great joy in opening the Word of God.  Many times I cannot put it down, and I don't want to.  I think the Old Testament is my favorite because of how much it shows God's character, and the ways He continues to love us and shield us in spite of our sin, and how even when He brings destruction on Israel and Judah, it grieves Him to do so, and He does not take any pleasure in death and wants us to have life.  So awesome.  God truly is the best.  I don't know a single person that would love the way God does, and I would suppose that is the point!  I pray that I will not be satisfied once I have read it all, but that I will continue to read and re-read, that His word may be written on my heart. 

Thank you for reading!  I will hopefully be able to update again soon.  I hope this has given a glimpse into how life has been so far.

To my family in Modesto and Arizona, and to my family at Calvary in Manteca, I love you and miss you!  Not a day goes by that I don't think of all of you.  I thank God for each of you and for how I have been blessed to call you my brothers and sisters.  May you speak for Jesus boldly, may you praise Him when you hear how I walk with Him and learn from Him, and may you yourselves walk closely with Him.

Grace and peace to all, I love you!

-J