Perspective

Hello everyone, it has been a while since I posted my long draft exploring Matthew 13. Wow that was a long read. I imagine that this is one of the reasons why nobody reads!!

Part of the reason for my writing tonight is that I am in a strange place where I have completed all of the homework I need to do for the week, but I have some stuff happening this week and next week that I don't feel up to starting. I am thinking a lot about perspective, as the title of this blog suggests. No, it is not third-person or first-person. No, it is not linear perspective or other spatial perspectives. It concerns, rather, looking at something with a different mentality.

As a good Relient K song has said: "Perspective is a lovely hand to hold."

Today, I had a dental appointment, and it was to get an extraction done on a tooth that got a root canal long ago. Basically, the tooth was never finished properly and so, a few weeks ago, remaining sections of tooth chipped off. Upon my initial visit to the dentist, it was confirmed that there would be no saving the tooth, and that it would need to be removed. Today's procedure was just that, and they also put in some bone graft so that, if I should so choose, I can get an implant put in.

A few weeks ago, my roommate discovered bug or two crawling on his pillow. He was confused and, due to the size of the bugs, thought it was just a case of some bugs that managed to get into our room and at that particular point happened to be on his pillow. Fast forward to a few days ago. I was sitting in our first-floor lobby preparing for a few extra hours-worth of homework, and he was getting ready to go to bed. As I began to take notes on my readings, my disgruntled roommate comes out and says "you're not going to believe this. I found them." In my confused curiosity, I got up and walked into our room where, to my dismay, he discovered not just a few bugs, but probably dozens of the exact same bugs on his bedframe. A closer inspection revealed that these were not the only bugs, in fact, they were just the biggest ones. Our inspection showed that there were probably hundreds of smaller, hard-to-see bugs on his bed, and probably hundreds of what appeared to be small eggs in the crevices and cracks of his wooden bed frame. Long story short, after checking my bed and other parts of the room, we essentially confirmed that we had a case of bed bugs. We slept on the floor that night. Yesterday and today we were tasked with washing all clothes, bagging and sealing all items in our room, and prepping for pest-control that will prevent us from inhabiting that space for the next week and a half.

Over the next few weeks, I am tasked with giving a presentation at our Student Research Symposium, doing three fundraisers for my WorldSERVE team, and performing a plethora of other functions either for homework, TA work, or other tasks that come up (like the last-second Driver's License Renewal that I did last week).

Did I mention my birthday was Sunday, bringing with it the mixture of hope, happiness, anxiety, stubbornness, wit, attitude, and apathy that comes along with it? I did have a good day, as far as doing homework most of the day was concerned. But, I did get to spend it with Kendra, and going to Red Robin with her was just right. Yet, I always feel unsettled about my birthday, because I'm too stubborn and driven to prove a point that I won't display the date or talk about it, and then because in some sense I do want people to genuinely care.

Perspective is a lovely hand to hold.

I realize that things could be a lot worse for me.

Yes, I had that problem where I needed to go to the dentist, but then again, I have the luxury of doing so, and yet I often neglect going to one (this is typically because of money, and let's face it, insurance only goes so far if you literally have NO money). The point of this is that, regardless of my decisions or circumstances, there is great access to medical care in this country. In fact, we are blessed that it is any profession at all. I made a joke a few days ago, saying "I just take comfort in the fact that the apostle Paul probably had really bad teeth too." And that is probably true. I am in a lot of pain right now, but that is due to having something removed. I can't even imagine what it would be like to have mouth problems and have absolutely no solution other than just yanking something out or rubbing something on it to see what happens. Never in my life have I been proud of the way my teeth looked, but I imagine that even just a few hundred years ago (and TODAY in some countries) teeth have just not looked so hot.

In some ways the very act of going to the dentist and getting a tooth yanked is SO MUCH of what the chosen path of life is like for myself and for many others. There is something inside of us that aches, or something that is broken, yet we simply try to overlook it, or we play it down like it is not that much of a problem. Or perhaps it will cost us too much to get looked at, so we don't bother. Yet these things fester and get worse. They become infections. Getting this tooth out was really uncomfortable, from the initial visit all the way through the operation, and it hurts like the dickens right now, but it was necessary to remove something that was wrong.

The bed bugs are an interesting thing because we are required to bag everything up and only take with us (after washing and inspecting) what we need to live and do school for the next week and half. I have thought long about this the last few days. The issue I have is that my roommate and I have probably the cleanest room in our entire Residence Hall (not simply my own testimony, everyone that has heard about it has made similar statements), and so we have been thinking, "Why us?"

I am trying to remember that of all the pest problems in the world, bed bugs might actually not be that bad. For one, I'm pretty sure I killed a black widow in my room the other day, so I imagine that if there were spiders infesting my room I would be enrolled in APU already. If it were termites, we probably would have broken our beds (and they may have been in the walls, too). If it were mice, well, that's just gross. In addition, I think of places in the world where people have fleas, bedbugs, mice, and other critters all the time. I imagine people that live in countries where, if they get some sort of wound, they can get bugs in their wounds. I think of when people get worms because of bad sanitation or bad food. Gosh, my problem doesn't really seem that bad. Actually, I realize I am more upset about having to do the work to pack stuff up and live in a different place.

And what shall I say about the things to be done in the next few weeks? Everyone has their share of work.

I am not the only one who is busy, or who is going through things. I think that is something that we forget today. We act like our problems are so great and as if we were the only ones going through anything. We become impatient with each other, we become easily angered. We say things we don't mean, and then we chalk it up to "having a lot on my mind," or "going through a lot," or "I'm just tired and busy." Having problems is not a ticket to mistreatment of others, it ought to be an opportunity to let someone else help, or be there. Sometimes, we tell ourselves (or others) that we don't want to burden other people with our problems. Why are we so arrogant? So, are we saying that people won't be able to handle life if we share with them this insanely huge thing we are carrying? As if to say that our problems are so great that they sway all of creation? What a lack of humility we have!

All this stuff is going down, but I must do my best to keep my eyes on God most of all. Because Perspective is a lovely hand to hold.  And God's perspective for me is this: Keep your eyes on God, keep sight of what is eternal and do your best to live for the eternal. You do this by being a witness to who God is and what He has done, and by acknowledging his Lordship in all things and adding people to that number. And so, maybe I am one tooth down. But maybe that one tooth being gone gives me a chance to share the kingdom with someone.

And this is my hope: that I may be kingdom minded. I hope that, whether it is going through financial hardship, whether it is a burden I am carrying, whether I am being persecuted, or whether I am facing death, that I might stand up for righteousness and that I might be counted worthy of the Gospel of Jesus. Because if I approach all things with that perspective, then I always have the right perspective because I am always seeing clearly: right to God.

If I may share some prayer requests...

I am coming up on a financial deadline for WorldSERVE, and so I ask that you pray that God provides as He sees fit; that he will touch hearts to give and that he will give me arms strong for the tasks ahead to earn money.

Further on finances, outside of the trip, I am having to pay one more payment for school, so I need to make sure I have about $350 to cover that. So whether through funding from someone, or through TA hours, please pray that God will also provide this.

Please pray for my WorldSERVE team, that we may love each other better and ultimately love God more. Pray that we will continue to diligently prepare, and always giving 100% throughout the process.

Please pray for my home church, Calvary Community, as they embark on a number of changes. Pray for good attitudes and hearts that are aligned to Christ, so that people may not simply accept or reject things.

Please pray for my health and for my studies, and that I will finish out the school year strong and get things ready to embark on post-grad work!

Thank you. My love to all of you in Christ

-J